Ethan Hawke

How can I even count the ways that make Ethan Hawke so awful. His facial hair is always skeezy-looking, and his pretension is out of this world. A sample line from the horrid, horrid film of his first novel, The Hottest State: "If you could be inside my body when I see or hear you or touch you, or think that I might see you or I might touch you, you would stop crying and slap me. Because I'm either crazy about you or I'm going crazy." To quote Kevin McCann, "Wowsiers."